I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
