do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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