I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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