just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
