I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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