You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
