I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
