I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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