woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize