420 ftw
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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