Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
