i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's rum buckets o'clock
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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