I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
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Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
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I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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