I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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