Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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