so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
