i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
