The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i believe in u and ur pee
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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