CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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