Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
