Did you just see the Batmobile???
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
