Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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