garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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