And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
