we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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