i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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