Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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