yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
