tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
