Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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