Apparently you make a good broom.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
