i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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