I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
