my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
