6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize