I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
