I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
