I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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