so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
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I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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