i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize