are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
