ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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