i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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