haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
