so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
