if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
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He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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