So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
