I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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