Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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