so explain again why im purple
no
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She's like a pop up book from hell.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
