There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think people are normalizing furries
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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