Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
