He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
