Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
