He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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