1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
